Wow, my emotions have been all over the place since the miscarriage..yesterday i felt amazingly great..full of energy..today..i feel terrible..my entire back hurts and i have an awful headache..can't get in to see my chiropractor until monday! If i still hurt tommorow i might just see any of the chiropractors or even a massuse..ugh..
i have just bawled my eyes out after reading a blog where the blogger was complaining about having to go to a wedding on a Friday and how inconciderate the wedding people were...my wedding was a Friday..not by choice..its all we could get..but i suddenly felt noone wanted to go to mine..which i know it totally irrational..esp as most of the blog was actually complaining about how expensive the registry items were..but i fixated on the friday bit..
One of my best friends is moving to another state..it will be a 2 day drive to go visit them...wahhh. They leave in November.
Last night I found out another friend is expecting..i feel bad as I congratulated her with a hug..but ignored the father completely..whoops....sadly their baby has been found to have heart conditions and will need surgery soon after birth. Her oldest boy had the same conditions and 4 days after he was born they found he had downs..so theres a possibility this one will have it too. Its a bit sad and scarey..I pray their baby will be ok.
I turn 40 in 12 days...where are my babies??? It seems so unfair that i get to 40 and no baby in sight. I wasted my 30's planning and waiting..I need to move on..but I don't know what to move on to..it seems pointless to train in a new career..there's no point in trying to be wealthy when theres noone to leave our stuff to..