Friday, May 27, 2011

feeling fine!

Ok, crisis over, i found my mojo! yayy.

I think part of my depression was worry over DH's plane crashing..its his fault cos he makes me watch those aircrash investigation shows..ugh. But he has arrived and he called me to say he got there (though i was tracking his plane travel online and i knew it got

I worked out that I could possibly have our FET in June..I see RE on the 16th and AF is due on the if he wants me to do a drug free one, then it could happen! It gives me a little added incentive to hurry up with losing a couple of kilos (yes, i did eat some chocolate..I got some for FREE at the suppermarket and it was Lindt..mmmmmmm)

Ok, off to warm up by vaccuming the house! Its kinda chilly around here.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011


Today my DH has flown to UK to visit his family for 2 weeks...and i have been blubbering and moping around all day..I know its only 2 weeks, but right now it feels like forever. I can only assume this is what its like to be depressed. I don't want to do anything but sit on the couch. I also assume this could be because I missed the sadness of our cycle not working..maybe its just coming out now.. Ugh, i hate feeling like this..the weather is terrible outside, so i can't go for a nice walk to get my mojo back. im sure i will be back to my happy self tommorow.

Saturday, May 21, 2011


Sorry Ive been missing. Computer isn't always cooperating, grrr.

AF arrived on Wednesday and the beta on Thursday was negative. I think having AF arrive first was good in that I wasn't devastated when my nurse told me. I think I knew it wasn't going to work from about 5 days after transfer..i just felt the embryo was gone. I hoped I was wrong.

So we will be having a frozen transfer next. I see RE mid June and assume the transfer will be July, but i have no idea. I plan to eat well and lose a bit more weight before then..but cookies taste soo yummy..i find it difficult to stick with my plans. DH leaves for 2 weeks in UK on Wednesday. I wasn't going because I should have been in early pregnancy, so I feel a bit put out that im not going now..I must be strong with myself and not eat chocolate and icecream for breakfast lunch and tea every day while he is gone.

so there you have pregnancy yet..will keep at it though..ive not lost all hope!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Frozen babies!!

At last I can get on here. The last few days i haven't been able to type as there was no cursor in the typing box, just some little flashing circle..grrr

 But anywho, I just wanted to let you know that our other 2 embryos were indeed frozen and one had grown to 8 cells. So we have a 7 and an 8. Hooray

No real symptoms to speak of. Just things that can be explained with the progesterone such as sore boobs, cramps, mild nausea.

I will end with a little story I heard on the radio.
Do you know how you can legitimately use the word AND five times consecutively in a sentence? Its true, but to tell you how, I need to tell you a story.

One day a fish & chip shop owner decided it was time to re-do his front sign as it was looking pretty shabby. He rang a sign writer who promptly showed up and asked if he wanted him to go over the old sign, or design a new one? The owner looked at the old sign and said "hmm.. I think a new one because I want a bit more space between FISH and AND and AND and CHIPS

Ta dahhh..5 ANDs

Sunday, May 8, 2011

2 days past transfer

nope, nothing happening today. Though my morning temperature said 33.81C..I think I would be dead at that temp..its usually 36.4 and above!
 Mothers day today. I spent the afternoon with my mother and to be honest, didn't give this embryo a thought! I guess thas good and means im not obsessing after all!

Hope you all enjoy your day! xx

Friday, May 6, 2011

1 day past 3 day transfer symptoms AKA 4 DPO

Oh c'mon, as if i have any!! Its wayy too early..... well..other than my pants feel too tight even though I lost that 2kgs i put on with the stims!! and this morning before I got up i had what felt like a dizzy spell..but i was laying down with my eyes was kinda weird. It kind of felt like my head swooped low on a rollercoaster or

I told DH I wouldn't obsess but who am I kidding..I must obsess..I don't imagine anyone could ever not obsess after everything that encompasses an IVF cycle!

Thursday, May 5, 2011

embryo baking

well, we have one tiny bun in the oven..all ingredients are in now we just gotta wait and see what happens!

RE transferred one 8 cell embryo. He said all 3 are going so well they would likely all have got to blastocyst stage, but their policy is to do a 3 day transfer if there is less than 4 embies. OK..fair enough.
 I was talked out of doing 2 embryos. DH really wanted to have a couple on ice so we wouldn't have to go through all the injections and retreival again for a while. And of course the risks with twins etc. So we have one baking and the other 2 which were at 7 cells will be frozen this afternoon. The embryologist hoped they would be at 8 cell by the time they freeze them! we will have kids in the fridge!! it really takes the pressure off knowing they are there.

Id like to thank you all for keeping myspirits up the last few was rough going, but im happy and have a feeling this is going to work! If not this particular emby then surely one of the other 2!

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Fert report

1..2..3.....3...yep..just three fertilized. THREE.... I know you only need one..but im really disappointed..all that hard work to end up with LESS fertilizing than round one. And being less than 4 fertilizing means a 3 day transfer. I guess thats so they don't have to stand by and have to tell you none made it to day 5..i am going to ask that 2 get transferred..if 2 live til friday..but our clinic is pretty adamant on only doing one.
 I will definately ask RE if there is any point in trying a third time...I guess this is what it feels like at the bottom swoop of that stupid rollercoaster. The nurse said that sometimes more fertilize after 24 hours, but its not common.
 All those supplements..what a waste of time and money..I just feel so useless, hopeless..what is the point of trying so hard. I have pretty much given up already. maybe tommorow will bring better news.

We have eggs!

Retrieval went ok..7 eggs..again. RE spoke to me before the retrieval and exclaimed how surprised he was to have the same number (he was going from the ultrasound I guess) after he doubled the dose.

 I hope they all fertilize, and we get frozens and a BFP... but if its the same as last time and we get just one emby to transfer and it ends with BFN, then Im kinda thinking of giving up on IVF..for a while anyway...and trying the naturopath who reckons she can clear my tubes..DH and I said we would try IVF 3 times..but if this doesn't work, then Im all for trying something else, getting my body in the best shape of its life, then  maybe after 6 months trying IVF one last time. It seems pretty clear to me theres got to be something else wrong with my reproduction system if a double dose of stimulation results in no change.

It sounds like im defeated already, but Im not..just thinking ahead.
 Im definately aprehensive about the fertilization report tommorow. fingers crossed for 7 out of 7..surely all the supplements have made some sort of change!!

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Trigger shot

I had my trigger shot last night at 7.30pm. Lucky DH arrived home just in time to do it..though bless him hes saying "No, you do your needles at 11pm" He didn't realise this was the very last one!! It stung a lot going in and for ages afterwards. Then i had a pinching sting in my ovaries for about an hour..nothing too bad, but it was definately uncomfortable.

Today I have no injections, no meds at all..i feel really bloated and DH even commented on it. We agree i look about 6 months Im slightly worried about ovulating early or popping the follicles while bending down to pick up something etc, but i recall having the same worries last time, so that helps me to relax a bit.

Egg retrieval is at 9.30am tommorow. We have to be at the hospital at 8am..arghhh..too early. But at least I only have to get up and wash, poor DH has to crack one off as Im sure he will manage!