the closer i get to 40, the younger it seems. when i was a kid 40 was seen as people who lived with dinosaurs for pets..now that im 6 days off 40..it doesn't seem so bad..Im sure my friends all think im in denial as I always say im 26..but I know im not 26 anymore..my knees remind me of that whenever I stand up after sitting for longer than half an hour.
I used to worry about making sure id had my children before 40..40 was some magical cut off point where the instant I was 40 I was going to be old..even last week I feared it..but today?? nah..its all good. God has been showing me in so many ways thats its ok..its going to be alright. Everywhere I turned in internet world the last couple of days was the message Do not fear..Ive got your back. Don't worry, I have a plan. Stop stressing, it will turn out alright. Do not be afraid, you are not alone.
I don't remember bible chapter verses, I don't remember who's blogs or facebook pages helped me..but they have..the message was received..Im letting it go..Ive said that at other times..but i still had the fear..but today..the fear is gone..if my worst fears happens and i lose everyone and everything...then what? I will get through it..somehow i will land on the other side of that fear..I don't go to church..I don't read my bible daily...but my faith is strong..and its getting stronger. God is there for me..showing me what I need to hear. Maybe one day I will start to go to church.