Thursday, September 29, 2011

Things that bug me

Now that Im not pregnant anymore, these are the things that bug me

1. the fact that i have to start TTC again
2. my tired of seeing it. AF usually lasts 3 days of actual blood, so far ive been bleeding 6 days.
3. people who keep asking if im ok when i have said i am
4. niece who is 34 weeks pregnant moaning about her life and pregnancy
5. people who tell me they know it will happen again. how do they know..they don't know..shut up.
6. people telling me its mother nautures way. shut up. im not stupid. i saw my baby. it was not normal.
7. that sad look people give you.
8. again..the fact that i have to start again

I think thats definately the worst part. I know we have a frozen embryo..but if it doesn't work, then i don't know if i want to go through another round of IVF. It wasn't so much the needles, or the egg collecion..its just the time..that incessantly slow ticking of time waiting waiting. Waiting to start the cycle, the slow ticking of time as you wait for the right time to inject, waiting to see how many follicles there are, waiting to trigger, waiting for egg collection, waiting to see how many fertilise, waiting to see if they survive. then that stupid 2 week wait. Ive never been a patient person, so the waiting is the worst part for me. I wish i could be one of those miracle people who magically get pregnant naturally even with blocked fallopian tubes. sigh.


Babette said...

Get it out, it will make you feel better. It's so difficult to sit there and just take it. It's a lot for you to deal with. Been there myself. Yup, and the lull between the cycles is hard. It's almost sad but I almost miss doing a cycle when I have to wait. It's become a norm for me. Once you heal a bit you can look at things a bit differently. It's hard. It is hard. Hugs again Sis.

I am OK said...

Seriously Sucks. I know I can relate to each one of those. Every one means well but they just don't know. Prayers said for you:)